Being Homebound in an Empty House

I used to be a teacher.
Before that, I was a city supervisor.
Here and there, I’ve been a writer.

Now, I am a nothing.
I sit in a house, day-in and day-out
without anyone to talk to.

I live for Mondays, when the home nurse
comes to take my blood work and change
my PICC Line dressing
because it is 20 minutes of conversation
I don’t typically get.

My hobbies are gone.
My job and volunteer work are gone.
I’m completely unreliable
because I never know if I’ll have the energy
or ability to do anything.

I’m so hungry sometimes
while food spoils in the fridge
because I don’t have the strength or
the energy to actually cook it.

Anything I try to make my life better
fails
just like me.
A complete and total failure
sitting alone day after day.

Be patient, they tell me
Your body needs time to heal
as months and months pass
and very little changes.

The years pass
and very little changes.
And all I can say is,
“I used to be . . .”