It’s hard to believe this photo was taken just one year ago today! It seems like a lifetime ago. My battle with cancer started in February 2021. I had my radical hysterectomy on May 3rd, 2021, and in this picture, I was about 6 weeks past my radical hysterectomy and had just started Chemo and Radiation. When the first clump of hair fell out, I made up my mind — no tears, just smiles, and I was going to lose my hair on my own terms. I went to my hairdresser, and had my hair shaved down. This way, when it continued to fall out, it was just bristles that lined my sink and shower, not huge clumps of hair.
I made up my mind, there and then, no tears, just smiles. Every single photo I took after that, whether I was hooked up to chemo, coming out of radiation, or wearing my head covers, all anyone was going to see was a smile. You know that saying — “fake it ’til you make it!” But I didn’t have to fake it too long. The smiles and the happiness came back into my life, even through some very dark times.
I think I have my mother’s stubbornness when it comes to things like this. Even when cancer was taking her life, all anyone else saw was smiles — except her inner-sanctum (my Dad and I.) We saw the pain, the tears, and the frustration. All anyone else saw was smiles. I think I was the same way. There were only three or four people (my inner-sanctum) who ever saw anything but the smiles.
The smiles in all of these pictures are genuine. I lost my hair on my own terms, and I felt quite victorious. There is more than one way to let cancer know that you aren’t going to let it destroy you. This was my way of saying, “you may ultimately take my life, but you won’t take the happiness in my soul.“