The Big “C”

You may have noticed it has been over 6 months since I’ve posted. So much has happened since then, but I wasn’t ready to write about it until now. You see, in March, I was diagnosed with invasive cervical cancer.

After many doctor’s appointments, MRI with contrast, pet scan, a D&C, and surgical procedure to gather cells to test them, I was scheduled for a radical hysterectomy, bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy, and lymphectomy.

My MRI showed the tumor to be about 1.6 cm. However, I have bilateral hip replacements, which caused distortions in the MRI. So then, a pet scan was ordered. It showed the tumor to be about 2.4 cm. This meant that surgery was the best option.

But even the best laid plans do not always work out. Once the surgeon had removed my uterus, she found that the tumor was actually very deep and very tightly curled. The tumor was actually over 4.0 cm, which means that surgery alone would be ineffective. She also found that my cervical cancer had spread into the vaginal cuff and vagina, which meant she had to remove 2/3s of the vagina. She removed 11 lymph nodes. Several of them were non-functioning, but fortunately, none of them were malignant. Additionally, part of my abdominal wall had to be removed because of the cancer. The hardest part – my cancer had intravascular invasion. That means it was spreading.

This meant, that after 5 weeks of recovery time from the surgery, I had to undergo aggressive chemo and radiation. Radiation and chemo kicked my butt! I have never felt so sick and weak in my life. For almost 4 weeks during chemo, I couldn’t eat or drink anything. This meant many trips to the chemo center to get IV fluids. It also meant that I ended up losing 42 lbs in the 6 month period. I’m don’t mind losing weight healthfully, but this not the way I wanted to lose it.

Finally, 6 weeks after chemo and radiation ended, I am finally starting to feel okay again. I have energy again, and I’m able to eat better (although I am still very limited in what I can eat.)

Did they get it all? It will be three more months before we can collect cells and do imaging to find out. Even if I come out as NED (no evidence of disease) I will have to have imaging every 3 to 6 months for the rest of my life.

Even with surgery, radiation, and chemo, my chance of being alive in 5 years is between 32-35%. The odds aren’t great. However, I remind myself that none of us know when our time will come, and that I’ve had a great life, and done almost everything I ever wanted to do. I live each day as if it were my last – finding joy and happiness in each and every day.

The hardest thing was that as soon as I was diagnosed with cancer, I had to stop taking my biologic, which treats my PsA and psoriatic spondylitis. There are no other drugs that can help at this point because of my kidney disease, so there is nothing I can take to treat my PsA and psoriatic spondylitis. If I go back on a biologic, and even one spec of cancer has been left behind, the biologic will make it grow and spread very quickly, and I’m not willing to risk that. Of course, my PsA and spondylitis has come back with a vengeance.

So that is where I am, right now. Between surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, and brachytherapy (internal radiation), I spent the past 6 months either in bed, with no energy, throwing-up for hours on end with constant nausea and diarrhea, or in cancer treatment. My GI tract is damaged, my pelvis has softened from the radiation which is causing one of my hip replacements to loosen, and my left knee gave way, so now I have to wear a leg brace on the left side. I won’t lie, it was a horrible experience.

But in my heart, I know I fought as hard as I could. Whether I win or lose this battle, I know I did my best. Whatever the outcome, I’m okay with that. Life is beautiful all the time! I am happy for every day I get, and I’m finding the happiness and joy in very single day I’m blessed with.