How to Ruin Your Kid in 20 Easy Steps

1. Always blame the teacher, coach, or other people whenever your child gets in trouble, so they never learn to take responsibility.
2. Believe your child, without question, even when all evidence shows differently, so they never learn honesty or accountability.
3. Do everything for them, so they never learn how to do things on their own.
4. Fight all their battles, so they never learn to express themselves clearly or stand up for what they believe in.
5. Give them rewards for nothing, so they learn to expect praise without effort.
6. Give them everything they want, so they never learn to choose wisely or work hard to earn something.
7. Ignore your child’s bad behavior, or excuse it with “they’re just tired” or “kids will be kids,” so they never learn right from wrong.
8. Let your partner treat you poorly in front of them, so they learn that abuse, disrespect, threats, and violence are a normal part of a “loving” relationship.
9. Micromanage their every move, so they never learn independence or confidence.
10. Never set boundaries, and let them make the rules, so they never learn respect for authority or limits.
11. When you do give them a consequence, let them whine until you give in, so they never learn that rules matter.
12. Never let them fail, so they never learn resilience or how to recover from setbacks.
13. Protect them from uncomfortable feelings like disappointment, boredom, or frustration, so they never learn how to cope.
14. Protect them from consequences, even when they deserve them, so they never learn that actions have results.
15. Put their happiness above all else, even if it means letting them disrespect others, so they never learn empathy or consideration.
16. Share adult burdens with them, like your financial, emotional, or relationship problems, so they never learn healthy boundaries.
17. Solve all their problems for them, so they never learn problem-solving skills or perseverance.
18. Treat them like your best friend instead of your child, so they never learn to respect authority or feel secure.
19. Compare them to other kids, so they never learn to value their own unique strengths.
20. Never apologize when you’re wrong, so they never learn humility or how to repair relationships.

Just follow these 20 steps, and you’ll have a 30-year-old who can’t fill out a job application and still relies on you for video game subscriptions.

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